I am feeling, 32!

I have recently turned 32. If you ask me, being 32 is nothing special because it only feels like an extension of being 31. The past few days have been quite a rollercoaster for me. I have not felt something like this before and I am scared as hell on where this leads. However, I have never been this happy and vulnerable at the same time. I have made a few discoveries about myself. There are still a lot of things I need to learn and experience before I can fully understand life.

One early Saturday morning I chanced upon an episode of Boy Abunda’s The Bottomline and he was talking to three motivational speakers and I must say, it is true that everything happens for a reason. They were talking about success, life, love, and purpose. The guests were Vince Golangco, Ada Cuaresma and MR Speaks. While I was watching the episode, it was like the Philharmonic Orchestra was playing. Every single point they shared hit me and it actually got me a bit teary-eyed. It was amazing hearing their words of wisdom and it was like hitting me one by one. It was a moment of realization. It was an Aha! moment.

I started asking myself, what is my purpose. Being at this point in my life, have I found what I really wanted to do. Am I still aimlessly threading the waters of life? Honestly, I think it is something that I should really sort out for myself. As what Boy Abunda said, listen to the co-host within. There is a silent voice within that is trying to find its way out. I am excited, nervous, and anxious of what lies ahead. I am not sure if I am ready to face it all; however, I know that having faith that I can make it through will definitely lead me to success.

Then there was a question about success. How do we measure success? Should we see success as relative? Watching The Bottomline episode made me realize that success should depend on how you define what makes you successful. I started reflecting on my life and how I see success, if I had my life run on all that is monetary – I will never see the beauty of the connections I have made. I didn’t even realize how much I have grown and done until I reflected on how I started. It was good to look back and it was also good to see how much people have touched my life and vice versa. I think that for me is my definition of success. More than money and all the recognitions I got, seeing the quality of relationships I have made – it was all worth it.

I believe that I have just seen the tip of the iceberg. There is still a lot more to see, feel, hear, and do. How I get there, I don’t know. I’ll cross the freakin’ bridge when I get there.

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