I miss you

I remember vividly how much fun we have everytime we hangout. We were always laughing and there were moments when silence was not a source of worry. For the first time in a long time, I was actually comfortable with silence. I don’t want to be dramatic, heck! I don’t like this feeling. I wonder if I every meant something to you, or if i still mean something to you.

I am happy as long as you are happy.
I miss you.
every f*cking day.

I am a Woman, A Woman I am.

Step out of the history that is holding you back. Step into the new story you are willing to create. – Oprah Winfrey

I was raised in a family [heck! more of a society] that is highly patriarchal. I have seen female members of the family who succumb to the rules of society. They followed what was deemed as the norm and never looked the opposite direction. Unfortunately, it was the setup that most women accepted.

Fast forward to now, gone are the days of damsels in distress, I strongly believe that the damsels are now holding their own swords. Growing up my mother has shown me that I have a choice, that I can actually be the captain of my ship. I can do whatever I want as long as it goes along my moral compass. I was definitely prepared to be the woman of today. I was ready and I was headed to that direction.

The time has come wherein a woman can be the CEO of her own company. Now, a woman can be single at 30 (or older) and still live comfortably without being judged for not having their own family. Now, a woman can stand for what she believes in and fight for her rights. Now, a woman can be a mother AND a father when the man of the house leaves. Now, a woman can be an inspiration to young girls. Now, a woman can be all she wants and more. Now, a woman holds her power in her own hands.

My ultimate dream is for all women to realize the power they have. For all women to realize that their future is not dictated by society not even their own families. No one should stop them to be at their best.

We are women, women we are.

Liham para sa bawat Pinoy Drayber

Sa araw araw na pagbagtas ko sa kahabaan ng EDSA, may isa akong napansin kung gaano tayo kawalang galang sa isa’t isa. Mula sa mga bus na walang harabas na nagbababa at nagsasakay ng pasahero at sa mga sasakyan na palipat-lipat ng kalsada na hindi gumagamit ng signal light. Hindi natin kayang sundin ang mga simpleng patakaran sa pagmamaneho tulad ng mga ilaw ng stoplight. Sabi nga nila red means stop, green means go and yellow means go faster – yan ang slogan ng Pinoy. Nakakalungkot isipin na ang ating asal sa kalsada ay nagpapakita ng ating kawalang disiplina. Ilang beses pa kailangan manghuli ng HPG, MMDA, etc. para sundin natin ang mga batas trapiko. Bilang isang drayber din, maraming beses ko ng naranasan na muntik mabangga o makabangga ng ibang sasakyan. Naranasan ko na din maging pasaway sa kalsda, isang bagay na hindi ko ipinagmamalaki kaya naman naniniwala ako na kung ating babaguhin at ating asal pagdating sa pagmamaneho mas magiging matiwasay ang ating paglalakbay.

Isang panawagan sa mga drayber ng bus, sana naman po maging mas maingat tayo sa pagmamaneho. Hindi po kami (ibang sasakyan) mga matchbox or target na isa isa nyo dapat pabagsakin o banggain. Minsan napapailing na lamang ako pag nakikita ko ang mga bus na nasa inner lane na ng EDSA as opposed to being in the bus lane. Minsan tuloy hindi ko masisi ang ibang mga drayber kung gusto nilang paalisin ang mga pampublikong bus sa EDSA. Sana po huwag na natin hintayin na may mamatay pa para lang magbago ang ating pananaw sa pagmamaneho.

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

*** A late post ***
Today is my daddy’s 77th birthday and I am elated to celebrate it with my entire family. My dad has always been a constant source of strength in our family. I believe that his desire to provide us with all we need and want, was his driving force in everything he has done, doing and will be doing. I am grateful for the life he created and dreamt for us.

There were good and bad times; however, I strongly believe that the love our family has for each other helped us make it through. My dad may not be the perfect father but he is perfect and made for me. The love he has for our family surpasses the mistakes he has done. I believe that our future relationships are determined by the home we grew up in. Also, our view of men are also set by our fathers. My dad sure set the standards high.

I am a fan of my dad’s strong faith in God. He has very strong values and he values his relationship with the Lord. He is a man who is always ready to fight adversities with prayer and strong faith. He has always been a good example to us of a faithful follower. I strongly believe that all our good fortunes and blessings are because of his wonderful relationship with God.

Happy Birthday, Dad! I love you always in all ways.
We love our daddy very much! πŸ™‚
God bless you, dad!

Have faith in love

Jollibee created another tearjerker just in time for Valentines.

Have faith in love. We all make choices and sometimes we realize that “shit, i just made the biggest mistake.” However, I strongly believe that every thing happens for a reason and that all things happen because they are meant to happen. We missed the bus, because we are supposed to miss it. We have to learn to live without regrets or what-ifs because it brings in guilt. The feeling of guilt stops us from living the best life ever.

Love has definitely taught us good and bad things. Love has also brought out the worst and best in people. And I think, love has taught us to live and taught us to retreat all at the same time. The Jollibee commercial has shown us that we all have to make choices. To let go of the past to live the best present and future that we can ever dream of. It is never easy to let go; however, it is the only thing that separates us from a life of true happiness. They always say that by ending something prepares us for an awesome beginning. We have to learn to be brave, brave enough to face the consequences and risks that come with making a choice. I pray every day that I make the right choice not just in love but in life. I also pray that once I make the choice, I am ready to face all that comes with it.

I pray that you make a choice that you’ll not be afraid to make.
Have faith in love. Have faith in you.

What to do, what to do.

I just completed a six week Comms training class and I must say it was such a challenging feat. During the course of six weeks, I have learned a lot about life, love, courage, hate, and resiliency. When I found out the demographics of my class it felt like a challenge to me. I knew that it won’t be easy and my fee-linial side will have to go on overdrive so I can catch up. Part of our sessions are free speech activities. I love doing free speech because I get to listen to different stories of my trainees. My class would always joke that my free speech activities remind them of their recollection/retreat sessions.

During these free speech sessions, one trainee shared that she was not sure of what she wants to do with her life. It resonated to me and I came to a realization that I have the same dilemma. At my very young age of 32, it seems that I am not so sure of what I want to do. I am not really sure who I want to become and I feel like I am still going with the flow of life. For a moment, I felt like panicking then I calmed myself down – I still have a class to complete. lol! It was good to actually say it out loud to validate that we are not alone in feeling lost.

I realized it’s normal to feel lost sometimes. I believe that life has a lot of surprises to offer and feeling like I know everything loses the magic of living. I strongly believe, that I am at the right moment and at the right time. Growing up, I feel like life is about ticking every single box (in order) in a long list of To-dos. To feel that life is unpredictable eases the tension of always completing something. Also, the more that I felt that life can be lived one step at a time made me enjoy things more. The pressure was released and I start to look forward to what lies ahead.

Life ain’t easy but it makes you love every breath and every move that you make. It’s okay to feel lost, it’s okay to feel defeated and it’s okay to feel confused. All that matters is you learn from every single thing that happens to you. Live and love your life – its the only one you’ve got.

Learn to be grateful

There are a lot of things I want to learn in life, one of which is to be constantly grateful. Being grateful in a world that pushes us to yearn for more is challenging. I believe it has to be a constant balance between when to push for more and when to actually settle. Settling without feeling that you’ve short-changed yourself. My brain is wired to be either slow or fast. I never have an in-between. It is a trait that is evident in all I do, from love to going to work. (lol) I am starting to feel that I need to be more cautious of how I view things.Β It is not easy but I am certain that minor attitude changes will bring great impact in life. It is easy to get mad and to feel bad, however it takes more effort to look for the positive side of things. The fruit though of looking at things positively outweighs the easiness of being hateful. I easily get irritated and react when things are not going the way I wanted to, or when an idiot bus driver is trying get my lane (that deserves a different post). I think this time I will be feeling differently about things and just be more thankful and grateful. I know it won’t be easy, but it will all be worth it.

I challenge you to do the same. Learn to see the beauty of everything that happens around you good or bad. It won’t be easy, but it will be darn worth it. I can’t wait!

The struggle is real… so real.

I have always wondered when the right guy will come and when is the right time. I have always thought it was something that will never happen to me given how society defines beauty. I am not the definition of beautiful, if you look at all the pictures on social media and in magazines – I would offend them. Okay, i am exaggerating but you get the picture. All throughout my younger years, I have always been labeled as the friend. I was always one with the boys but never the girlfriend. I remember a classmate mention that if I wasn’t chubby, I can be a good prospect. It kinda hurt because I knew that my size will always be an issue for most people. [I am munching on left over pizza and yakisoba as I write this entry. pfft] A part of me has always been used to my single-blessedness; however, there are moments wherein I just want to say fck this sh*t. lols

Articles tell you that that your time will come. Focus on yourself and you’ll have your moment. Learn to love yourself first before love finds you. There must be steps to follow or some logic that I am not getting (lol) May be i am lost in some step that leads to self discovery. Just like everyone else I am trying to figure out this whole relationship thing. Being 32 and single doesn’t hell ya’ll. haha

I hope and pray that my time will come. I have always hoped that there is someone out there for me. He will come when we’re both ready. All in God’s time, in His perfect time.

2018 is done

2018 has tested my patience about life. It was quite a journey and I was definitely taken for a long ride. There were a lot of changes and it took a while for all of it to sink in. Gratitude has been the constant driving force in my life right now. Appreciating all that I have in life reminds me that I have everything. It is easy to lose focus on what matters because we always want more; however, learning to be grateful will definitely take us a long way. 2019 is fast approaching and no one knows what lies ahead. I am constantly reminded of the people who matter and I think that’s all i need. πŸ™‚

We’re about to ring in the new year, I wish you and your family a good year ahead! πŸ™‚