Day 202: The Pause we all needed

The pandemic has definitely taught me new things. It has tested my patience and resilience among others. I have a feeling there are still a lot more to learn. One more thing I have learned and came to accept is the Pause. The Pause in our daily activities due to quarantine rules. The Pause in seeing friends and relatives because we needed to stop the spread of the virus. The Pause to travel and explore places we’ve never seen. On the other hand, The Pause taught us to be more present when we are with our families. The Pause has shown us that we are living a life that relies on socmed way to much. The Pause allowed us to see our hidden talents and interests. The Pause also gave us a moment to reflect on the things we’ve done and the what ifs that come with it.

The Pause gave me a moment to reflect over some things, people and moments that I miss. Since I know myself well (as if), my go-to habit when I am sad is to look for quotes in Pinterest that suites my current mood (see here). Moving on (insert rolling eye emoji), I have come across some quotes that hit the mark. One of which is, someone’s effort equates to their interest to you. I know, I know its not the exact quote, but its between those lines. It dawned to me, I remember You! Yes, you! Maybe you will never be able to read this post but I just want you to know, that The Pause made me appreciate and loathe you at the same time. Is that even possible? I guess, because that is how I am feeling at times. Ok, ok! I am beginning to blabber again but I know you’re getting me (maybe). LOL

Sometimes I wonder, Am I that ugly to not attract a mate. Years passed and my encounter of the Pause I am beginning to learn more about me. I have a feeling I need this Pause to help me see things in a different perspective. Lord, when will it be my turn? Will he ever see me differently or will I always be the good friend? I am going off topic and I think this section deserves its one post. One of these days, i will give you a peep in my so-called love life. BWAHAHAHA

Trust your version of The Pause, you’ll need it.

Day 160: How are you holding up?

August is almost over and we’re still in the middle of this pandemic. How are you holding up? Personally, I am holding on to the promise that things will get better and that everything will be all right. I am holding on to the belief that God has plans and has full control of the situation. Also, holding on to WHO’s protocols (are you washing your hands?) 

The quarantine has been testing the patience of everyone. One thing that I think this quarantine has also triggered is everybody’s obsession with social media. Let me step back, i think it is social media that tested the patience of everyone. There are a lot of posts in soc med positive AND negative which really triggered a lot good and bad behaviour. We are all given the privilege to post our sentiments, thoughts, ideas in social media, now it is our responsibility to face the consequences of the ideas we post. I think that is what is lacking with some people, the sense of accountability. Accountability to face the reaction of everyone regardless if its positive and negative. As for the audience, the accountability to own up to negative comments that they lash out. To learn to still be respectful even if they don’t agree to what they see. We all have the freedom to express ourselves, however, it doesn’t say we have the freedom to say hurtful things to one another.

If there things that this quarantine is teaching us it to sit still and be patient. To learn to follow intructions and to do what is best for our families. We are here for the long haul, but how can you do that when you are paying more attention to things, people, situations that don’t matter. To give attention to petty arguments, negative conversations and trolls.

How are you holding up?

Day 131: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade and drink it!

Wow, 131 days! I can’t believe it, it has been 131 days since I last step foot in the office. 131 days since I last saw some of my team mates. 131 days since life was still normal. What is normal, anyway? CoVid-19 has definitely turned out lives upside down. I don’t even remember how it feels like to go outside without wearing a mask. I don’t even remember the last time I saw my friends.

If there is something this pandemic told me is that God will always protect you, if you put your trust in him. Also, entrusting your life to His hands will keep you at ease. In times wherein life is uncertain, knowing that there is Someone higher and greater than you and I gives me a sense of relief. I strongly believe that if I do my part, the Lord will also do His. It will not be easy, but it will be damn worth it.

I am optimistic that this whole pandemic will end. As to when it would happen, your guess is as good as mine. We should all learn to deal with the lemons that life throws at us. When life gives you lemons, learn to make lemonade and drink it.

Day 49: Almost there but not quite

A huge roadblock came to the family just recently. My mom’s brother died unexpectedly in his home. He was living alone. The saddest part of it was that he had symptoms of Covid-19. We never had the opportunity to see him for the last time because he was cremated the same day. It was a huge reality check for us on how scary this pandemic is. It has now impacted our family and we’ve lost a family member to the disease. It is never easy losing a family member especially now that we’re in the middle of a pandemic. It’s sad that we will never know what happened to my Tito. As a family, we are all praying for his eternal repose.

Our way of living has changed. It has changed in ways we could not imagine possible. However, it should not change our view of life. Life is meant to be lived and we should make sure that we take care of ourselves and our families. We are all in this together.

Yes, i said We not Me. Don’t be selfish.

Day 44 of Quarantine

Life has gone topsy-turvy and I don’t even know what day it is or what month we are in. I just count the days from the last time I reported to the office. It’s been 44 days. Wow! 44 days. Our lives have definitely changed. We are all in a stand still and we don’t know when we will go back to normal or if we will ever be back to normal.

There are moments wherein I feel scared of the unknown. The news has brought nothing but dread,(honestly speaking) and socmed brought nothing but the worst in most people. There is too much going on both positive and negative that it has become overwhelming for all of us. I still believe in the good among people and I know that is also what we want. I guess, it’s a matter of being conscious and choosing goodness.

Let us all be reminded of the bigger purpose. Also, let us be reminded that God is always watching over us. I hope and pray that we all come out of this experience as better version of ourselves.

Wisdom at the time of Corona

2020 has only just begun and it almost feels like the year is almost over. The Philippines has gone through a lot over the past three months that it seems like we are ready to welcome 2021. From the Taal Volcano eruption to African Swine Flu (ASF) outbreak and now the Corona Virus Pandemic. It seems that the end of this phase is far from over and in times like these we need to hold on to our faith and in the belief that this too shall pass.

March started with the dawn of a possibility of a Metro Manila Lockdown. I was not sure how it will turn out but I was hopeful that it is not as bad as what the media is portraying it to be. The threat of COVID-19 hitting the country is slowly becoming possible and when the report of the first community acquired infection was reported, I knew that life will never be the same. An exaggeration for some, but if you live with two senior citizens (both high risk for infection) and you know its time to hit the high road.

Currently, I am on Day 13 of quarantine and I am bored AF. However, I believe that by staying home, not only do I keep myself away from the virus but also my parents will have higher chances of not getting infected. Those are enough reasons for me to keep my bored butt at home. It ain’t easy but for the greater good we should learn to abide by the rules.

In the midst of the Enhanced Community Quarantine (ECQ), there are a lot of things to be thankful for. First, people are reminded of God’s strength. Also, people are reminded that He will not let his people down. Bend your knees and pray to Him. Second, nature is healing. Based on ABS CBN news, there has been a 180% decrease in PM2.5 since the quarantine started (click link). Mother Nature needs a breather and it finally got the much needed break. Third, family time. In a fast-paced world like ours we often times forget to spent time with the people we value the most. Now, we are in our home sharing meals, spending time and just sharing stories as we wait for this pandemic to subside. Fourth, Bayanihan is seen everywhere. Many organizations and individuals have come together to help our frontliners and less fortunate filipinos. Fifth, ECQ taught us patience. Yesterday, I waited in line for 4 hours to get in the grocery store and waited for another 2.5 hours to check out. I must say we were all tired but not a single person was angry. We all waited patiently for our turn and followed the rules of the establishment. Sometimes its easy to be angry and frustrated with the situation but I am proud to say that we were all adults playing with our phones while waiting (lol). Lastly, the dedication of our frontliners. It is not easy to help people when you have a high percentage of getting infected. Our frontliners are not just the health care professionals, volunteers, police and military but also the cashiers, bagger boys, guards, back office employees, etc. who go to work every day to help our country to survive this pandemic. There are more things to be thankful for and I am sure this list can go on and on. We should do our share by staying indoors and washing our hands.

If you want to help our frontliners, please don’t hesitate to visit rappler.com for the list of organizations who need your help in this time of great need. Also, there are other individuals who are also doing their share of fundraising events/efforts for our frontliners and less fortunate kababayans.

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Let’s all remain positive! Follow social distancing and please wash your hands. Stay at home people!

Am I good enough?

How many times have we ask ourselves this question? Also, how many times were we brave enough to say it out loud? I have my moments and often times I drown in the sadness of feeling inadequate. Inadequacy at times bring out the worst in people. The bad energy that we throw to the universe, unfortunately, finds its way back to us – ten fold! 

The past few weeks have been a challenge, personally and professionally. There were changes that were inevitable it kind of brought back the uncertainties. It is not easy being positive when you are surrounded by restlessness. There are moments wherein I have to step back and remind myself of the things that I should be thankful for. It is hard sometimes and I must say it be quite challenging. 

I am learning to be grateful always in all ways. I am still struggling with the negativity that sometimes, it is hard for me to see the positive side of things. I constantly remind myself of all the good that came my way. The constant effort will definitely help me in becoming more aware then next thing I know it becomes a way of life. 🙂

I strongly believe that when I start asking myself “Am I good enough?” I will smile and remind myself that “Yes, I am.”

Crazy Love

Only two things can reveal life’s great secrets: suffering and love. – Paulo Coelho, Aleph


I believe that I love passionately that sometimes I lose control of what I think and feel. There are moments wherein I feel that I get too caught up with my worries that I lose focus. It is a turmoil that I can’t seem to get a hold of. Love has definitely given me my highest highs and lowest lows. In times like these, I want to just be free of all the overthinking and craziness that I put myself through. Even the simplest of posts can drive me to a lot of thinking. Not good, Mia – not good.

I want to choose loving but with freedom. Freedom from overthinking and just being at the moment. There is magic in the smallest of moments and in the smallest of things. When I look back to the moments that matter, I feel the warmth. I just don’t want to waste the magic by overthinking or wasting it by entertaining negative thoughts.

I don’t want to lose the passion I have for life and for love. More so, I don’t want to lose myself. 

An Open Letter To Myself

The past few days have been very challenging. There were a lot of unknowns and I am beginning to feel that I am headed nowhere. For someone who is easily bothered my uncertainty, I knew I was setting myself to craziness. At the same time, I just agree even if I know that a part of me is confused or a part of me doesn’t want to do what they want me to do. I am to blame sometimes why I am stuck on situations that I don’t want to be in. I guess, I really don’t know when to say “no.”

Growing up, I thought that I need to be the perfect daughter. I told myself I have to be different from my sister (not that she’s a bad daughter). I just need to give my parents a different experience. Here I am, 32 years later – still their daughter but far from perfect. I think my fear of disagreeing and not saying “no” has definitely bitten me in the ass, again.

I am tired. My personal life is complicated (for me it is). My work life is uncertain. I am just tired. I am fucking tired. There it is! I am tired.

I had a breakdown last Friday at a weird chair at the 6th floor of Uptown 2. I was talking to a friend when every single thing that is bothering me were overflowing. I knew I needed to let it out. I needed to feel the moment, I had to acknowledge that I am dealing with some pain.

I need to face this. I need to learn how to finally stop the cycle. I need to choose me this time. I can’t continue living a life that is dependent on other people’s dictatorship (exagge!) It won’t be easy. I know it won’t.